How to fight!

From Happily Wed and Happily Fed page 41
Softening Sentences and Sandwiching Sentences

When you've got something yucky to say to him, it is much nicer to say something positive first (softening sentence) before hitting him with the negative. Or say it in between two positive sentences (sandwiching the negative sentence in the middle) to cushion the blow. If you want to be happily married, you will need to solve problems without damaging his ego and your relationship. At first, I thought that using these techniques would be obvious, and so it wouldn't work. Nothing could be further from the truth. Glenn knows when I'm softening and sandwiching my sentences and appreciates the kind-hearted communication. The same goes for me when he needs to tell me something.

Here is an example of a softening sentence: "I really liked being on your arm at the dinner party last night. Your usual wit and charm were alive. But, I felt uncomfortable when you asked the host how much he paid for his house." This is preferable to blurting out "I cannot believe you asked Dick how much he paid for the house. You embarrassed me."

Here is an example of sandwiching positive sentences in between a negative one:
"Honey, thank you for power washing the side of the house. It looks so much better. But, could you please use less pressure because the paint is starting to chip off. I love having you home this afternoon, helping out. We're having your favorite, Procuitto Wrapped Scallops, for dinner."