A Feminist Wife

Dear Readers,
Many of you want to know me better, want to understand my position and want to know what my book is about. So as not to be misunderstood, I need to make something very clear. I am a feminist.

The true meaning behind the feminist movement is equality between the sexes. I cherish our rights: Equal pay for equal work, the right to choose, anti-violence against women, access to birth control, leadership in government at world leadership levels, equal opportunity for education, and the freedom to pursue anything we desire.

I am a feminist. I am a mother of two daughters and would vehemently stand up against anyone threatening to reduce these rights so many women fought so hard to achieve. I am thankful to women who broke molds like, Susan B.Anthony who wrote the Declaration of Rights for Women in 1876 and Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman to become a physician.

I am also a wife. And, what I've learned from 22 years as a wife and as a woman who was raised during the feminist movement is that we can unite the two sides. There doesn't have to be the stay at home moms vs the working mothers - we are both. We are women. There doesn't have to be the working women vs the homemakers - We are both. We are women.

I do not believe that a woman's place is in the home and write now to make that perfectly clear. Because I have learned how to keep a man happy and I like to cook should not, and I will not let it, categorize me as "old fashioned." It is true that I love to be at home and think it is the best place on earth. Because I like creating a wonderful domestic life, doesn't mean I'm 1950's mentality. There have been plenty of years in my marriage that I brought home more "bacon" than my husband, but all the while I still loved nurturing my husband and my domestic side.

For many women, nurturing and being feminine is natural. It is a gift to be a woman. Men crave this feminine side of us and it has little to do with our rights in society. Why can't we have both!? I see that the feminist movement was a rocky path and that it bamboozled men. Many men agree with us, and they don't want to be hated.
I think they miss feminine women.

Why did we have to destroy family values and tradition in the path of feminine freedom? Did you know that 2/3 of all divorces are filed by women? Perhaps this statistic is influenced by violence or infidelity by a husband. Of course, I agree with our right to divorce and I have a zero tolerence for both behaviors!

In Happily Wed and Happily Fed my story meets tradition with feminine freedom, at home, where I nurture my man. Delenee

Stinkin' Men

In the movie, Johnny Cash, Reese Witherspoon plays June Carter - the gorgeous, talented and sensuous singer. In a poignant scene, she cries out her grief after spending all day on the tour bus with the all male band members, and she calls them Stinkin' Men!

Fast forward 2010 . .. Have you ever stepped out of the bath refreshed, in a white cotton robe, smelling of sea salts and creamed lotions and yelled down the hall, "Honey, I saved you some hot water!"?

You wanted him to take a shower because he had spent the entire afternoon removing an old stinkin' dishwasher in your rental apartment and came home looking and smelling like a refrigerator repair man. And, you DID shave your legs faster than you had wanted to, so that he actually WOULD have hot water to take a shower.

Then, quite unexpectedly, a reality TV moment screeches forth as he replies,
"No thanks, I'm good."

As you enter the bedroom and see HIM lying in the "usual" spot with a sweaty brow, you suddently think about June Carter.

Hangin' in ther after 20+
Delenee

Enjoli Perfume Commercial 1980!

Do you remember the commercial for Enjoli perfume in the 1980? If you do, I know how old you are! Ha! I have a confession to make. As a teen, while watching That Girl and Room 222 on TV, the Enjoli perfume commercial would come on AND I DESPERATELY WANTED TO BE HER! I would fantasize about being that sexy, modern woman who had it all. She sang, "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never, never, never let you forget you're a man - cuz I'm a wo-man. Enjoli!"

Here's the link. Take a walk in the past!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X4MwbVf5OA

Of course, I did become her in my own way. We all did. I think about these things at 3:22 am when my hot flash subsides and I'm wide awake.

Let him save the day

Men need to be heroes. It's in their nature. It doesn't matter if he bandaged your son's "owie" or borrowed money from his mother to pull the house out of foreclosure - either way - he's your hero. Tell him so.

Whisper in his ear, "You saved the day." "I love you." "You are a good father." "We love you." "Thank you for protecting us." "You are my hero."

Then, at the end of the day, just before dinner, make a toast to your husband. Take a deliberate moment to acknowledge him (yes, again) aloud for saving the day and being your hero. He will beam from the inside out, even if he pooh-pooh's it.

Give your husband this kind of respect and appreciation often. He needs it and so do you. His proud, manly adoration and protection for you will rise up and he will become a modern day knight in shining armor - your hero.

Delenee

It's a pain in the xxx sometimes and I'm a little bossy

Happy New Year!
I'm so happy you found this blog, I can help you with your marriage.

I'm a wife and author of Happily Wed and Happily Fed. I am not "Dr. Know It All!" And, I never want to be. I am just a wife who speaks to you as a friend - talking wife to wife- and I've been married for 22 years. It's a pain in the xxx sometimes, but oh so worth it to stay married long term. Take heart, I've got lots of tips for you and stories to ease your wedded days.

For example, did you know that there are moments in just about every day that my husband drives me nuts! Yes, it's true. Please don't think that I'm lucky or that I married a good guy and that's why we've lasted 22 years. Yes, he is a good guy, but not perfect! We've both have worked at our marriage and we still work at it daily.

At the grocery store this afternoon, for example, I got that "arrrrgggg" feeling because Glenn, my hubby, was putting fatty foods, the "wrong" kind of catfood and miscellaneous random items (that don't make a complete meal) into the grocery cart. He hadn't even touched a fruit or vegetable and then he forgot which Chardonnay was my favorite. Arrrrgggg... Then he grabbed a jar of chopped olives (the same one he didn't like several months ago). I curtly said, "honey, we don't need that olive tapenade and you don't like it" (control statement). I winced when I saw another man glance over at me and frown. I guess I sounded a little bossy.

Much to my chagrin, I must admit I did. Who cares what he puts into the grocery cart. Good grief, what if a jar of $3.99 olive tapenade sits in our pantry for a year? So what!

I shut up, took a breath and smiled. I thought to myself, lets just have a nice afternoon.
And, we did.