How to fight!

From Happily Wed and Happily Fed page 41
Softening Sentences and Sandwiching Sentences

When you've got something yucky to say to him, it is much nicer to say something positive first (softening sentence) before hitting him with the negative. Or say it in between two positive sentences (sandwiching the negative sentence in the middle) to cushion the blow. If you want to be happily married, you will need to solve problems without damaging his ego and your relationship. At first, I thought that using these techniques would be obvious, and so it wouldn't work. Nothing could be further from the truth. Glenn knows when I'm softening and sandwiching my sentences and appreciates the kind-hearted communication. The same goes for me when he needs to tell me something.

Here is an example of a softening sentence: "I really liked being on your arm at the dinner party last night. Your usual wit and charm were alive. But, I felt uncomfortable when you asked the host how much he paid for his house." This is preferable to blurting out "I cannot believe you asked Dick how much he paid for the house. You embarrassed me."

Here is an example of sandwiching positive sentences in between a negative one:
"Honey, thank you for power washing the side of the house. It looks so much better. But, could you please use less pressure because the paint is starting to chip off. I love having you home this afternoon, helping out. We're having your favorite, Procuitto Wrapped Scallops, for dinner."

Pump up your man!

Hi wives,

Sometimes you've got to pump up your man. We sold our cafe last October, and the restless entrepreneur (my husband) has been bouncing off the walls, just itching for his next project. Now he wants a "real job." Here we go.

A daunting task no one likes to endure is job hunting and for a self employed person, it's a bit awkward going back into the market.

Supportive in nature as a wife I must be, I decided to polish and pump up my man. I wrote his cover letter, edited and re-edited his resume and then printed 10 copies of both on beautiful crisp white linen stationary. Then I ironed six of his shirts - ready to go wear, trimmed the back of his hair, gave him a strong pep talk and sent him on his way.

Oh, the photo - last summer at the Alien Convention in Oregon. I put it here because his shirt is nicely ironed. Don't you agree?

Marriage Survey - Wives married 20+ years

I've begun my survey of women who have been married over 20 years. It will be my life long project. These women are hard to find! Here is one quick response to a survey question that is introspective and inspiring.
Delenee


Question 3: Tell me about a turning point in your marriage where you
stuck it out - perhaps you were dangerously close to divorce
- and you made it work.

Answer: Actually, I had filed for divorce. My aah haa moment was during seperation. I finally realized that my husband was not there & I was still miserable... so he must not be the problem. I started soul searching and the real work began. It continues today.